Possibilities

Good morning y’all.  I’ve been quiet on the blog a bit recently.  Mostly that’s because there’s been some serious soul-searching going on.  For a while I was really gung-ho about Tulsa and this rapidly approaching move.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still coming, and willingly, I’ve just had some new thoughts.  

It was the type of gung-ho that comes with the thrill of making big decisions.  The thrill (for me anyway) of having a plan.  A direction.  A next step.  I finally knew what I would do in August and was ready to zip through the summer right into the next chapter of my life.

Well, here I am, exactly halfway through this summer, staring at empty-but-assembled-and-waiting-for-contents boxes in my living room and a mild panic is setting in.

What the hell am I going to do when I get there?!

Who am I going to hang out with (I can’t live with Katie and Justin forever!)?!

How will I make enough money to pay for this house?!

What if I don’t like my neighbors?!

How will I put up with the Thunder fans?

What happens when something in the house breaks and there’s no landlord, husband or dad around to call to fix it?!

These thoughts just snuck up on me one day and overwhelmed my mind, so I decided the best approach was to just STOP.

Stop planning every aspect of the business.  I know what I love to do.  I know what people say I’m good at.  I can figure out how to blend it into a living over the course of time.

Stop scouring the internet for meet-up groups.  If I wait until I get into town, I can use Tinder to find friends in my immediate vicinity….kidding.  I can use Foolish Things, my sense for outdoor adventure and my friendly personality to meet new friends.  Miley’s always an energetic ice breaker too.

Stop worrying about a financial business plan.  Certainly I have an idea of a monthly income to shoot for, but if it takes a few months to build it up solely through training and fitness, I’m certainly not too good to put in some hours behind a bar or as a kid sitter.

Stop anticipating the neighbors.  I make excellent desserts.  Plus, I just need to remember I’ve already won them over by setting the alarm off and having the police come on the first night in the house.

Stop fretting about the Thunder fans.  I’ve got enough Grizzly gear and pride to stand up to them.  And a rematch is almost a year away; plenty of stress-free peace time between the two teams.

Stop anticipating problems with the house.  Sure the only home-maintenance skills I’ve got up my sleeves are changing light bulbs and plunging toilets, but every leaky sink and broken sump pump is a learning opportunity.  I don’t need a man in landlord, husband or dad form to save me (though, Pops I might be calling you for advice if Google fails to provide proper step by step instruction).

Stop.  Breathe.  Take it one day at a time.  Enjoy the time I have left in Austin.  Enjoy the people here, the comfort of knowing where things are and what each day will hold.  Recognize the beauty of this uncertainty.  The only thing that is set in stone for August is where I’ll live and my Runnin’ Fools.  Everything else from my friends to my day job to my paint colors to my grocery store is up for choosing.  Oh the possibilities.

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7 thoughts on “Possibilities

  1. You got it, STOP! You cannot imagine how many times I have to tell my own brain to SHUTUP! STOP! And, as far as needing a man/father/or other…you might just find that you can figure it out quicker and BETTER!!! OX

  2. I’ll totally be your friend, Jessica! …is that weird to say on wordpress? Seriously though, I can totally relate to all of those concerns and anticipations. I too think of worse case scenarios prior to them actually happening (or in many cases – not happening and I worried for nothing). It’s exciting to be making this big move, but with all the things that I have to get done before we head out there (end of August!) … it’s a little overwhelming. Needing to land a new job, making new friends, on and then there’s the whole packing up our house thing. But the end result is a crazy exciting adventure awaiting us. Bring it on. Wohoo! Best of luck, lady! 🙂

  3. Well I’ve moved cross country several times. Normal is what you are feeling. I told my friend Lisa who’s also moving this year to call me … Not when things are going well .. But when she’s wondering WTF she was doing. Nothing in life worth having comes without risk…. Talking to myself here….

    • Thanks Sharon! I know it’s the right thing, still freaky though, especially when I dwell on it. I’ll pull on your bravery and courage for strength when I need it! (and you certainly are talking to yourself! Are you listening?)

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